collection of stories is dedicated to Zardoaas mother, Faith,
who encouraged him to write and has always been so supportive of his
story from page 176:
to the Seas
Jack was an athletic guy with a Masters in Marine Biology who had
a passion for sea-life and joined Green Peace to protect the whales,
dolphins, porpoises and other creatures from slaughter by the fishing
companies. He was at this very moment in a motorboat harassing a Japanese
fishing trawler on the open seas, getting between them and shoals
of fish, filming everything and challenging the ship to run them over.
In spite of this, the fishing went on and the most Jack and his comrades
in the motorboat could do was make it difficult, aggravating the fishermen
to no end who cursed at them endlessly in Japanese, or so Jack assumed.
He didnt actually speak Japanese but the tone of epithets they
used was pretty International.
The trawler had plunged a huge net into the sea and was pulling it
out when Jack could have sworn he heard a porpoise calling to him
for help. Not just calling out as porpoises do in with their sort
of squeaky voices, but actually speaking English, calling to him saying,
Help me, Help me. That was crazy, of course, but without
thinking about it and totally on an impulse called by the tone of
that urgent plea he leapt from the motor boat as it passed the net
and climbed onto it and began hacking away at the huge ropes with
an keenly sharp machete like knife that was so strong it could hack
through steel cable, which he carried for just that purpose. Within
several desperate swipes, he had severed the line and he and the tuna
and the porpoise plunged back into the sea. He was stunned but his
people scooped him up out of the water while the crew of the fisher
cursed at him some more and one of them started taking pot shots with
a rifle just to scare them as Jack and his friends jetted off back
to a local island to celebrate their victory.
That night about a dozen of them sat around a fire talking excitedly
about the day's events and adventure, having a few beers and in general
agreeing that Jack was both a hero and a lunatic that could have gotten
himself and potentially some of them killed. They laughed among themselves
and felt like outlaws, or pirates, only pirates for the good instead
of the thieving, murderous ner-do-wells pirates actually were. After
a while and a few beers, Jack wandered in among the trees up from
the beach to take a pee and when he had finished and was giving it
a last shake a voice said,
You saved me today.
He looked up to find a young woman standing there apparently naked
though mostly hidden behind a tree. What did you say,
he asked, hurriedly stuffing it back into his pants, which was not
entirely easy under the circumstances.
I said you saved me today. You heard my call and rescued me.
What are you talking about? he asked.
You know very well, she replied.
And he just stared at her and then edged a little closer till he was
just on the other side of the palm tree she was hiding behind.
I'll give you three wishes, she announced.
Like in the faery tales, he pointed out.
Exactly, said she.
Then I want to kiss you, he told her.
Not what you want, she informed him, What you wish.
Then I wish you'd kiss me, he quipped and she slid out
from behind the tree and took him in her arms and kissed him long
and deep upon the mouth, her naked body pressed full against him.
When they separated, she whispered, Think it over carefully.
I'll be back tomorrow night. And she ran off into the dark.
Hey, he yelled after her, Whats your name?
She stopped and turned back to him saying, You couldnt
Try me, he said, grinning in the dark.
Then she utter a few squeaks, like porpoise calls and he laughed.
He tried to imitate them, but then she just laughed and said, Not
quite. But you can call me Sea Skimmer. Thats what my name means.
Sea Skimmer, he repeated, thinking what a strange name.
How about I just call you Skimmer?
Okay, she said and ran off again.
He tried to follow after, yelling, Hey, wait, but soon
found he was just stumbling around, tripping on driftwood and clumps
of grass in the dark and finally gave up and wandered back to the
fire where his comrades had gotten into telling stories from past
adventures, although he only half listened to these his mind, really
his whole body, absorbed and obsessed with his recent encounter.
The next day they were at it again bedeviling the trawler and he could
have sworn the pack of porpoises that hung near their little craft
were cheering them on. It really sounded like that, a strange mixture
of human and porpoise squeak. That night he waited for her again but
she didnt show. After a bit he gave up had a few beers and once
again he went for a pee. After he had completed his business this
time, she slipped up on him and said, So? What will it be?
He, of course, didn't really believe she could grant wishes other
than those mostly carnal ones that had been popping into his mind
all day. Yet, he had given it serious thought and he told her, If
I could really have anything I wished, I wish those damn fishermen
would all stop hunting the seas.
And I wish I could grant that to you, she replied, But
I cannot for two reasons. One, the rules say it must be a personal
wish, a selfish wish, something really for you.
That is for me, he began to protest.
And second, she continued, That fishing is something
time and Nature will take care of and is out of my hands.
Well, Nature's none too fast, he sighed, frustrated.
She seldom is, replied the sprite for, of course, that's
what she was really, a sea sprite. We know, you thought she was a
mermaid, sorry to disappoint.
Then, said Jack, I'd like to be a porpoise for a
day. Did you ever see that Disney cartoon, 'the Sword in the Stone'
about King Arthur and Merlin and Merlin helps King Arthur as a boy
become a fish to see what it's like?
She shook her head. Dont see many movies, she replied.
Anyway, that's what I would wish to be, one of them for even
Then come, said she and she grasped his hand and led him
to the water, and slipping off her clothes, for she had come dressed
this time, although only in a simple sarong, and urged him to do the
same. He thought he was about to get lucky. But then she waded out
into the ocean and plunged in, pulling him after. How, he knew not,
but he was sure of it, immediately he was a porpoise in touch with
other porpoises and they were swimming, hundreds of them moving north.
In his mind, he heard her say, Come on, we're about to have
some fun. And they swam to where the trawler was anchored for
the night and then beyond it, and then they were waiting, waiting,
waiting expectantly. Happy to be together, knowing something was coming.
Suddenly they turned and started back toward the trawler and he knew
why, there was a huge wave on the way and they were going to surf
The wave came and lifted them up, rising higher and higher until they
were twice the height of the ship and then they sailed over it as
it, too, was picked up and pitched down. It broke into a thousand
pieces and they kept riding the wave laughing for another hundred
miles until it petered out.
Back on shore and back in human bodies, he commented, I thought
you couldn't do that sort of stuff, referring to the shipwreck.
That? she responded, That wasn't us. Were
just wee folk. We dont have that kind of power. That was Mother
Ocean. Every once in awhile she gets tried of them and sucks them
down and eats them. We were just there for the ride.
And a great ride it was, Jack said and laughed to the
depths of his soul thinking about it. And then, without considering
what he was saying, moved by some deep inner desire, he said, I
wish I could be like that forever.
And she kissed him and seized his hand and led him back into the sea,
for that was his third wish and she had to grant it.
may now purchase Elven Silver: The Irreverent Faery Tales of
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The Ban Sidhe: a tale of poetic justice 3
Accident: A tale of a brownie in the Old West 8
Changlings: faerie lore from the elves point of view 15
Deer Folk 21
Crossing into Elfin 26
The Genie in a Bottle 31
Dokaelfar: The Shadowed Path 38
The Dragons Treasure 51
Dryad: an Elven version of Sleeping Beauty 58
If the Shoe Fits: an elven version of Cinderella 66
Tuck: the Elven version of Friar Tuck 75
Faery Gold 83
Coal Black and the Seven Gnomes:
a parody of
you know 88
Gypsy Elves: a true tale
A true fantasy, anyway 94
The Merry Elves of Cherrywood Forest 103
Oh! Oh! Seven 120
The Wrath of the Menehunes 128
The Pot of Gold 136
Little People 146
People of Peace: a parody of the X-Files 154
Seven Hundred Pixies: inspired by the song
Seven Hundred Elves by Steeleye Span 161
Welcome to Elfin: dedicated to
the Bordertown books 164
Taking to the Seas 176
A Marriage of Inconvenience 181
Twilight Elf: dedicated to
William Gibson and cyber-punk 188
Found in the Forest: a parady
of the TV show Millennium 196
Water Nymph 202
Little Green Strolling Hood 207
The Gifting Game 214
Pixie Ann 217
The Shoemaker and the Elves: the elven version of the
Elves and the Shoemaker 226
About the Authors 235